Be still and know..

"Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." - Psalm 46:10

Sometimes I have one of those days when I really need to just be still and quiet and clear my mind and listen. Listen to the silence that speaks volumes of peace and comfort. I regret to say that I don't usually do this until I've reached the point that it's all I can do.

I'm thankful for the friends who will just sit with me and experience that moment of silence. It's not awkward. Just good.

Soon..

bobby

Happiness..

I'm still listening to those Tommy Nelson sermons on Ecclesiastes so this blog will undoubtedly be inspired by them..

I'm in a time of my life where everyone I know is entering the "real world" and picking careers - some picking jobs until they decide what they want to do for a career or until they can make it in that particular career. Advice that I hear often is to do what you love and love what you do. Well.. I love people and I love music and I love exercising and I love pretty days, and I love dogs, and... I love a lot of things but I feel so strongly that I'm supposed to pursue a career in music. I LOVE WRITING. It calms the tornado of thoughts perpetuating in my mind and places them gently on paper (or in this case a laptop screen) and allows me to look at them and see that they're not as big as I make them. They're tiny words in Times New Roman and I can handle that. HOWEVER, I can only handle that because it reminds me that God is big and he can handle each and every one of my tiny words, or issues, or situations, or whatever you want to call them - Again, He is the Author.

So, happiness.. I've found a certain level of happiness in a lot of things in life. I find it every day in one thing or another but it never lasts more than a little while. Things that make me temporarily happy: A good adrenaline rush. A smile from a friend. The release of endorphins into my brain when I run a long distance. Animals - they seem so carefree. Kids, I'm not around them much as a college student but their wide-eyed innocence and faith are beautiful. A good song, one that can change my emotional state (duh). A good cup of tea. An hour without allergies. Random facebook messages or @'s on twitter. And the list goes on.. Fact is, those things DO make me happy but I've found it's only for a while. Not that I'm sad unless something is constantly "making me happy" but those are just the spikes in my heart monitor.

"Light is sweet, and it pleases the eyes to see the sun. However many years a man may live, let him enjoy them all. But let him remember the days of darkness, for they will be many. Everything to come is meaningless. Be happy, young man, while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things God will bring judgment. So then, banish anxiety from your heart and cast off the troubles of your body, for youth and vigor are meaningless."

- Ecclesiastes 11:7-10

"Be HAPPY young man while you are young... youth and vigor are meaningless." I think Solomon is saying that it's ok to enjoy the little things in life that make you happy BUT to always keep in mind that these things are meaningless - "like chasing the wind" - and to remember that man will never find true happiness in things of this world. Because he is an infinite being, he will never find real happiness in finite things. He can only find happiness in his creator God. God knows him because He created him and He desires to spend eternity with him.

That said, I'll look forward to that day and do my best to prepare but I'll also enjoy the tea, adrenaline rushes, endorphins, and animals : ) Thanks for reading and I hope you're having an outstanding day and enjoying the little things!

soon,

bobby

The last first day..

Today was my LAST first day of school (most likely) EVER - and, I believe, a noteworthy blog topic. That's such a crazy thing to comprehend. I've gone to school from the time I was 3 years old until now. I'm 21 and have never known a spring or a fall without spending the majority of my day inside a class room either learning or dreaming (mostly dreaming). To think that this chapter of my life is coming to a close is really quite surreal. Until just after May 15, 2010, I will have followed the usual plan. There seem to be about 6 chapters of the adult life as far as I can tell with my young, and probably naive mind. Of which, I've only almost completed one.

1) Education

2) Career

3) Dating/Marriage

4) Have Kids

5) Die

It looks like I've still got four to go but that seems terribly boring. I kind of hate plans. I try to avoid them as often as possible. I don't know where I'll be in ten years or five years or even tomorrow. HOWEVER, I do KNOW that the Author of this book has it all planned and under control. As of right now, all I want to in chapter 2 is play and write music. I'll update anyone who may be reading this as soon as I begin this chapter and feel like there is some significant news. Pray for me.

To shift topics a bit, I woke up this morning with a terrible feeling in my stomach. I felt the need to pray for a very close friend and I did. After praying I was unable to fall back asleep and began thinking of where my life is going. In a state of confusion, I got ready for my LAST first day of school as I continued to pray about the uncertainty that is my life. On mornings like this one, I feel like I'm wandering through an unfamiliar darkness with a dying flashlight. As I continued to pray, I asked for God to take away this feeling of uneasiness and replace it with a feeling of hope and clear understanding. After about an hour the feeling was still not gone and was only getting worse. I was reminded of Paul's vision in 2 Corinthians chapter 12 when he speaks of the thorn in his flesh.. "...there was given me a thron in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." -2 Corinthians 12:7-10.

This passage has carried me through some of the most difficult and trying periods of my life and has continued to do so. It was not Paul's elegant words, BUT the Almighty God's power and ability to discipline His children in a way that will help me understand that "when I am weak, then I am strong".

EVEN STILL, this passage did not comfort me. For this first time, I am seeing the deeper meaning in these ancient words. This passage wasn't always meant to give me comfort. THIS TIME, it was meant to help me understand. Finally, I decided to go to class. I put on my coat and backpack and started to walk out the door when I sat down in my chair and had a strong feeling that it wasn't yet time to enter the world, unsure and slightly depressed. I prayed one last morning prayer and felt that I NEEDED to read the January 13th page of a devotional book that I've read for years since my grandmother gave it to me shortly after I became a Christian. I found the book and this is what it said..

"You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved. I will trust and not be afraid; for YAH, the Lord is my strength and my song; He also has become my salvation.

Why are you fearful, O You of little faith? Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.

The work of righteousness will be peace, and the effect of righteousness, quietness and assurance forever. Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives to I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. Peace from Him who is and who was and who is to come."

Isa. 26:3, Ps 55:22, Isa. 12:2, Matt. 8:26, Phil. 4:6-7, Isa. 30:15, Isa. 32:17, John 14:27, Rev. 1:4

Incredible. That's all I can say. Absolutely incredible. I didn't even deserve for my untrusting mind to be set at ease but God's mercy was abounding in that moment. I immediately became completely calm and all of my discomfort was relieved. Thank you Lord.

As for the girl who I felt the need to pray for; she called me later that day and told me a story of how she needed prayer that morning.. guess when? Just when I was praying for her. I witnessed more than one miracle today. God is always good, even in the hard times, even through uncertainty. He CAN give a "peace which surpasses all understanding". Today was the last first day of what I hope will be a renewed outlook on life and the beginning of a deeper faith.

-bobby

Caught off guard..

So.. Life is full of hills and valleys and sometimes life moves really fast and you just go along with it because you're exactly where you want to be and you just let yourself enjoy every moment because you know those moments will, in the future, be few and far between. Sometimes you don't give yourself time to prepare for the inevitable ending (or pausing) of these good times and you're caught off guard. And sometimes you write a lot of songs in a short period of time and need to play them back and reflect on the good times to remind you that they're out there. I've been listening to a Tommy Nelson sermon series on Ecclesiastes and he made the point that God is Sovereign and He is not always Pleased but He is never Perplexed - meaning - Difficult and trying things will happen in life and God allows those things to happen for a reason. Often, we can not understand that reason immediately but that's where faith comes in. We just have to trust that God, the Author of our stories, has everything planned according to his perfect purpose. In my life, it is SO hard to see the big picture. Sometimes I feel like I have blinders on and can only see straight ahead and in the immediate future. However, while listening to these Ecclesiastical sermons, I've taken the advice to enjoy the present. Thoroughly enjoy the simple things in life right now while hoping for good in the future but, at the same time, understanding that there will be hills and valleys. Lately, I've felt ecstatically happy standing on the very top of one of life's beautiful hills but this morning, I felt like I fell into a valley and since then I seem to be climbing back up yet another hill but enjoying the scenery all the way; all the while understanding that God is in complete control. I will find the beauty in every day and I will drink my tea and write my songs and exercise and enjoy the moonlight because these are some of the things that the Author has written into my life and blessed me with every day so that I can smile : ) It's amazing to thing that He would do these things for me.

Hills and Valleys - The Rocket Summer

miss you - praying for you

bobby